It’s been a long time since I’ve been on here. Since then, I’ve realized something:
I miss you. I miss hugging you. I miss kissing you. I miss talking to you everyday. I miss cuddling with you. I miss the way you made me feel. I miss you. If you were at my doorstep begging for me back I would say yes. You made me the happiest I had ever been. It kills me seeing you with her. It kills me knowing that I let you hurt me in the SAME WAY, twice. It kills me.
I like him. I like the way he talks to me. I like the way he makes me smile. I like the way he makes me feel special. I like the way he makes me laugh. If he were at my doorstep asking to be mine I would say yes. He makes me the happiest I have ever been. He hasn’t hurt me twice in the same way. He hasn’t hurt me.
If you were both at my doorstep, I would choose him. I’m not fully over you. I still tear up when I see you with her. I still feel my stomach sink. That should be me. It should be me at your house, with your family, with the people I considered part of my family. But it’s not. I’m not fully over you. But I’ve fully moved on.
I’ve been good since you left me for her. Whether you meant to do that or not, that’s what happened and we both know it.
My best friend, Paige, you know her. She’s been here for me. For all the stuff you said you’d be here for and weren’t. Paige is my sister now. She’s going to Ohio in a month, but here’s the funny thing: I know things won’t change. I know she’ll still be my sister. I know she’ll always be my sister. And if it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be happy. I wouldn’t be where I am. I would be choosing you and not him. I would be stupid.
But instead, I’m smart.
I miss you. But I like him.